HiJung's blog

I'm sorry for lying..

Taekwon_1

That above is the photo of "Angel wearing a Taekwondo cloth". And below is her very 1st Taekwondo contest
which was 1 month ago already. I don't have video clip, but she smashed a pine board as well, which suprised me.

 

Taekwon_2

And now she got one more new specialty - Playing Violin.
It's only 2 months for her to get violin lesson at her school, and she never get additional lesson except that.
However, I was surprising to see her play. She told me she's the number one. ^_^;

Violin

There is a Diary H/W everyday, and one day she wrote - "I usually sleep at mommy's house but slept at daddy's
house last night".  I told her to change it as "I slept at grandma's house last night", as I was afraid that
her classmate would make a fool of her. I lied to her, and now I'm making her to lie.   .. It hurts me.

Someone said it's nonsense but, I should believe the "Power of Love" would exist and be effective on my angel,
so that she would be fine even though her mom does those kind of bad thing to her..

 

Still that silly.

I've been working hard for past several weeks even on the weekend. Things were busy during day time,
and should have taken care of Seaana at night (there are too many things to do here - H/W, Preparation, exam
- for 7 year old kid), and worked again till 1~2am. Sometimes I got sick, sometimes felt better.
Meanwhile, Spring was passing by already..

And sometimes, I met a friend of my University days (most of them were dumped by me that time and have
lost contact for many years). Not sure how they got to know, but it seems to be true that bad news travel fast.
I was glad to see them again, but it was not funny to me when they wanted to hear what happened, and looked at me
with pitiful expression. Some of them got married, some not. Mostly they wanted to see me again, but I didn't
feel comfortable with them. at least for now.

Cheongye_1

 

One night, after say goodbye with my friend who became a lawyer, I could have time to take a walk on the stream
around my office, there was a Lantern Festival held for Buddha's birthday.
He told me I'm still immature and I thought it's true. But still not sure what's wrong with me..

 

Cheongye_2

Cheongye_3

Maybe, that (I'm not sure what's wrong) is the perfect clue of that (I'm still immature).
But I had a hardtime to accept the fact that I failed on the most precious goal I've had, and now..
I'm just trying to admit that - we all do well for some specific parts, and not for some other parts.
And in some ways, everything that "I don't have", is just a different side of that "I have".

... I often feel alone, but it's because I'm strong enough to try to overcome by myself.
... I'm always pushed for time, but it's because I have my work and angel to take care of.

So.. if I say I was not good at "that part".. but I'm still good at some other parts.. then, would it be too funny..?

 

 

They keep talking to me..

 

Seaana learned Wedding-march today at her piano lesson, and was excercising it.
She seemed to be excited to learn it, so kept asking me to act like a Bride while she was playing piano
though I refused saying there is no Groom.. And then, she said she would bring dad then.

It's an amazing coincidence, as actually today is the Wedding anniversary date. The first one, since last year.
I kept receiving several msg/sms from telecom company, insurace company, etc..during day time.
And again, Seaana is making me hear the Wedding-march at home now.  :-)

It's a very fulfilling day of "Too much" celebration from everywhere..

 

 

Escape from City, to Strawberry & Plum.

 

I was too exhausted of being rush, with no rest, couldn't even eat dinner for 2 weeks -
Felt like a Robot which don't have the "right" to get rest.
So I started to pack and drove car to somewhere, even though I was sick and had fever. Needed to escape that much.

I've wished to go "Strawberry farm", so asked around. It was first time for me to drive such an unpaved road,
and my car sank to a mud hole on the way to the farm, I was scared.. but luckily could get help from a farmer.
We could pick Strawberry by ourselves and eat them, and could keep some amount. It was an amazing taste,
and experience to see how the "White flower" change into "Red fruit". Seaana was also enjoying to become a little farmer.

Vivaldi_Strawberryfarm

 

After it, we went to "Vivaldi Park" - a resort which have most big facilities like Ski slope, Golf, Swimming pool, etc.
We ate Bulgogi at a restaurant in the forest, below is the food and place.

Vivaldi_Bulgogi

Vivaldi_Night

 

They provided a free Concert which was performed by the employee of that resort, it was fun and fresh.
It was first time for me that I could see something "not Children's" when I was with Seaana, but she really enjoyed.
I should have realized my daughter is growing up fast..

 

%

Next morning was Arbor Day, so we joined a tree-planting event. We chose a Plum for our tree.
Seaana became a little farmer once again, she even called this tree as her own kid.  ^_^;
They said we could have fruit on next fall.  Hope my daughter's kid would be growing up healthy and have sweet fruit.

Vivaldi_Plum

 

* Seaana & Me - short hair, on Vivaldi Park. 

Vivaldi_Seaana

Vivialdi_Kate

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tender is the night.

I was taking a walk with Seaana last night - in the moonlight, and tender breeze, with flower blossom over me.
And flower blossom "around" me - as my angel kept chattering about what happened at school, running around me
with showing up her Taekwondo step. 

It was another one more night, that I could feel the happiness I still have, during the usual tough life.
Spring is beautiful.. especially because it is too short. As we always miss the one which passes by, not the one with us.

Winter night was tough for me, as it's too cold. 
And now.. Spring night is also not easy for me, as it's too beautiful..

 

꽃이 피어있는 밤.

 

바쁘게 걸음을 재촉하며 버스에서 내려서니, 머리위로 꽃들이 쏟아져내릴듯이 피어있다.

그렇게 꽃도 피고....

따뜻한 바람도 지나가고.

향긋하고 예쁜 딸기들도 먹을수 있고.....

나는 아프다고 하지만, 그래도 아직 나를 행복하게 해줄수 있는것들이 세상에는 많다.

 

다 가질수는 없으니까....  내가 가진것도 많으니까....

그렇게 생각하고, 한번 더 웃어보고 ..

 

Question for me.

 

Night... that makes me want to leave to somewhere.. that I could be totally empty.

without  thinking,  hurry,  nervous,  fear.

Looking at the calendar, and found it's only 1 and half months ago that I had travel to escape.

and think again - it's not a good way to escape again and again. I need to get used to and overcome..

But I'm feeling almost out of breath..  so what do I need then ?  what would be helpful for me..

 

 

Pictures of Seaana - 7years Birthday.

 

* Here is the picture of Living Angel, who has been 7years since came down to the world.  :-)

 

WithBear2

 

* She's now wearing a Hanbok (Korea Traditional Cloth), graceful and cute young lady~.

 

KoreaDress2

 

.. whose daughter is adorable like that ?  ^_^

Smoke gets in your eyes.

'..They asked me how I knew my true love was true
   I of course replied,  "something here inside cannot be denied" ..'

 

How great it would be if there would be some strong signal of conviction, when it's hard to decide which way to go..?
A very clear signal like, a Siren ringing suddenly, or Rain pour down only over on that way..

I know it's funny, but I am imagining such stupid thing today.. cause I'm tired of thinking.
Feeling exhausted recently. want to get rest..

Smoke gets in your eyes

* No regret. No blame. No sorrow..

 

Lonely night.

This morning when I was walking to office, a man suddenly came to me and gave me a Rose & Chocolate.
It was so sudden and I was listening a music through earphone, so I was vacant and couldn't hear
anything when he was talking to me something very short. And then he disappeared.

When I arrived office, I got to know today is the "White day" in Korea. (In Korea, Woman give chocolate to
someone she loves - in "Valentine's day" / and Man give to Woman - in "White day".)
I felt sorry that I couldn't hear him, and didn't know how to give it back..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been a long while since I saw a movie/act/musical that I wanted to see, cause I need to see
animation or kid's movie for Seaana all the time. No one to go with to theater - it is one of bad thing
that I need to experience cause of 'that incident', feel sad when I should just miss which I want to see.
Tonight is that night..

Moreover, there were full of lovers in the street. During several months, I should have realized that
there are too many celebration days for lovers - Christmas, End of Year, Valentine's day, White day..

But finally I could find a man standing lonely just like me (below is the photo of him),
I got relief from him and thought we could be a good couple tonight. Though I cannot go to movie with him~.

 

SNV30473